Pessimism

My morale is at all-time low. Can't help but to question God why do these kind of incident happen to me. What wrong did I do to deserve this. Lucky mother is around. Talked some sense to me, if not I would be extremely negative already.

Then again, all boils back to my paranoia, or just plain obsession, with karma. I got to seek solitude somewhere. It's been awhile since I sat quietly in peace. Ever since moving out of Ang Mo Kio, I have yet to find a peaceful spot where I could just stay static and reflect.

Let's hope I'm over this ordeal soon. Can't wait for end July / August. Can't wait to get my operation over and done with. It's unbearable to live on the edge. Insya'Allah all will go smoothly.

$300++ just gone like that on another minor surgery, then there's the parking notice that I have to pay for. Hopefully it's just a letter of warning. I can't risk any demerit points. 12 points is equivalent to beating a red light. Hopefully I'm able to avoid a fine too. I HATE/LOATHE/DISLIKE paying for something that's not worth for. Like parking on pavement could actually kill someone. Crap.

Instances like this makes me want to sign-on. Stable job, stable income, good bonuses but living the life of a mediocre Singaporean. I'm not going to conform. Never never neveR. God willing, I will achieve what I visualize myself in the future. Amin. No, I need to achieve that status I see myself in the future.

I will be taking off now. The negativity still brewing within. Probably have a cold shower and off to MW3. Taking the care...