Yeah, much to my own dismay, I didn't update this site as often as I perceive a month back. But it's okay, I will endeavour to update this at least once per month.
Lately, things have not been going well for me. Reality is harsh but I thank God for giving me the faith to keep calm and stay strong.
At times, I can't bear to stay home due to internal conflicts. The fact that I always turn to my mom is so unappealing. I hate to trouble her, but at times like this, I can't help myself but to pour my sorrows out.
Don't get me wrong here. I love my family, I do. But at times I can't help but to see someone laze around the house doing nothing. My brother is turning 23 this year and I dare say, he forgot how to be thankful and grateful. How I wish, whenever he's inside his room, he will emulate what I do when I am in my room. Just lay back and gather thoughts. Just be thankful and grateful for all the stuff you have in your room.
I dare say, at my current condition, or worse his, we can't even afford a single thing in our current room. Who can go around boasting having a 42" TV in their room?
I'm sad, truly am. I have given up talking to my brother. He just cannot accept what I say when it's inevitably true. I just came across his post stating that he is sick and tired of hearing to her rants. If the "her" is direct to our mother, I don't know how delusional and idiotic he has become.
I told mom, if he's a rich, i don't bother about his life cause he will have an easy life. But now, we have only one another.
I went to the extent to not even waking him up for Friday Prayers. Yes I sin, true. But how far can I go? He needs to wait for me to wake him up and then he will go to prayers? Or does he need my bike to actually to travel to the mosque? Whatever it is, I told mom I won't pamper him anymore. There's a limit to everything, and I cannot stand ill-discipline people.
I'm done with my rant, will update this space soon. Insya'Allah...